A Really Good Day......

and yet I sit here typing with tears in my eyes.  Macie had a good day today.  Actually make that a GREAT day.  Despite the little cold she has that has kind of wiped her out the past few days, she was "on" today.  It's hard to put in to words what it means when I say she was "on" today.  She was engaged, playful, loving, connected.  She was talking, playing in the tub with Emma.  She acted like she just now realized that she has a built in playmate, and she can be kinda fun.  Macie gave Daddy and I many hugs and kisses today, and we didn't even have to ask.  She participated in some songs, and she followed along with the 100 books I read her at bedtime.  She played Barnyard Bingo with us today, she swam in the pool and dunked her face in the water.  She said "Dada" several times today, and she held my hand while we were watching a cartoon before bedtime. I swear we heard her say "love you" to Daddy when he was doing his nightly ritual of tossing her around, and tickling her before bed. 
We don't get to have this Macie every day.  If I had my way, I would have not let her go to sleep tonight and I would have played and talked to her until the sun came up.  I kissed her goodnight, she smiled, and kissed me back and she fell asleep.  I came downstairs crying.  Phil asked me what happened.  I told him that I was upset because I know that tomorrow I might not have that Macie.  I could, and I pray that's the case, but it makes me sad that she may not be as "connected" tomorrow.  I'm not sad for me, and I wouldn't change a thing about Macie, but I am sad for her.  I see her struggle to form words to try and get a point across, or ask for something.  She gets right up in my face with this very intense look in her eyes, and she tries to form words, but they just don't make it out of her mouth.  Today, she was making more sounds than I have heard for over a year.  Just looking at her I know she has a lot to say.  She was making "F" sounds, "G" sounds, "S" sounds, etc. 
All I can do is encourage her to sound things out, use her words, and praise her by saying "good talking", but I still feel like I am never doing enough to get her to be able to verbally express her wants. 
So, I sit here blogging at 11:30pm because I can't sleep, and I am worried that she will wake up and be silent again. 

Hey Ma, could ya just let me enjoy my graham cracker picnic without snapping 100 pictures?

She shoved the entire cracker in her mouth in 2.2 seconds so that Otis wouldn't get it.  he's famous for stealing crackers right out of their hands.......shocking, i know!