Big girl floor- close enough

Maybe if I put Pablo in my bed Mommy will think it's me and stop coming in here to yell at me to get in bed!

Rearranging her room while fighting sleep.

Finally couldn't take it anymore. This kid has NEVER fallen asleep anywhere but her crib, the car seat, and a stroller.......she must have been REALLY tired.

I just left her there until her therapist got here. Of course she had fallen asleep 20 min. before she got here. She was not happy when I woke her up. The therapist stayed for about 10 minutes. Macie couldn't function she was so tired. I put Macie in her bed when she left and she was sound asleep in 2 minutes!

Big girl bed.

Here she is smirking at me......

Here she is teasing me.......

and here she is 1 minute later. Was hoping she was doing some yoga to relax herself!

Macie took a pretty nasty tumble out of her crib this morning so we took the front rail off and put up the "safety gates". I put that in quotes because they are now just another thing for Macie to climb on and fall off.

I tried putting her down for a nap in her bed. An hour and 1/2 later she still was wandering around her room. I decided to feed her lunch and try a nap again. I put her up there over an hour ago and she WILL NOT stay in her bed. She's so tired, but she's just fighting it.

What now????

I have to work tonight so Phil is solo on the first night with her in the bed. Sorry Phil......it's gonna be rough I think!

Some recent developments

Macie officially climbed out of her crib today. I think it was more of a fall since she likes to walk and balance along the front rail. She was quite graceful and caught herself. I think she was crying out of surprise, not because she hurt herself. She did fall down onto the pillows I put on the floor. We will be converting her crib tomorrow probably.

Emma is almost crawling. Had one of those situations where I put her down on the floor, went back in to check on her a few minutes later, and she was across the room. I say "almost" since she gets her butt up in the air, and gets on her knees, but she doesn't quite use her arms all the way and kind of slides on the side of her face. Whatever works I guess.

Emma also is imitating what a monkey says. I say "oooh oooh ah ah" and she forms her mouth for the "oooh" sound, and then says "ah ah". It's so adorable. She studies your face and then very carefully tries to imitate.

Emma's MRI appointment

Emma's appointment is set for 8:30 am on Wednesday, September 8th. Thankfully Central DuPage Hospital has a satellite location for Children's Memorial Hospital, so we won't have to travel into the city for the appointment.
We will keep everyone updated as we learn more.

Venting....

I am so sick of bitchy people that work in Dr.'s offices. If you don't like your job, and don't want to do it, and be nice to people.....QUIT. Give me your job, I am looking for one. Is it so hard to answer a phone, answer my question, or direct me to someone who can help me, say "have a nice day", and hang up?
Someone must have lit the fuse on this lady's tampon this morning because she was the BEEEEEATCH and all BEEEEEATCH's! And don't you worry, I let her know that her attitude was not welcome with me. I am nervous as it is to even schedule Emma's MRI, and then for someone to give me attitude on top of it.......NOT HAPPENING.
Don't mess with me lady, I am NOT in the mood!

Ahhhh, I feel better.....sorta!

Emma's eye

I took Emma to the eye Dr. today. I think I took a little too much stock in what the pediatrician said might be wrong with her eye. They thought it was just some common "growth" that could be treated with steroid eye drops.....not so much.

I'm still trying to absorb what this Dr. thinks it might be. She called it an Orbital Dermoid. Here is a description of what it is.

Dermoid and epidermoid cysts are examples of choristomas, tumors that originate from aberrant primordial tissue. These tumors contain normal-appearing tissue in an abnormal locations. As two suture lines of the skull close during embryonic development, dermal or epidermal elements may be pinched off and form cysts, which are adjacent to the suture line. Approximately 50% of dermoids that involve the head are found in or adjacent to the orbit.

Orbital dermoid cysts may displace structures in the orbit, esp. the globe. If the displacement is great, interference with vision by compression of the optic nerve may result.

She would like Emma to get an MRI on her eye/head, and it needs to be done at Children's Memorial. Normally they do CT scans for something of this nature, but she does not want Emma exposed to that amount of radiation as her brain is still growing and developing. An MRI would be the next best thing. She will have to be sedated during the MRI which is scary, but there is no way they could keep her still enough to do it.

I will be calling tomorrow to set up the appointment. Will keep everyone posted, and please keep Emma in your prayers.

Son of a......., Mother......., what the..........CRAP

We knew it was coming, but I don't think anyone is ever prepared for this "milestone"!!!
Thank god for the video monitor!!!

Macie gave me a present for my pity party...

I was folding some laundry, and Macie was watching Jack's Big Music Show. They were blowing bubbles on the cartoon. Macie pointed to the TV and said "Bubbles Mama"....plain as day. I lost it! I tried not to scare her with my over the top excitement so I cried instead. Tears of joy.....aren't they the best?

Macie- 23 Months

Pity.....Party of one, your table is now available.

I've been having some "off" moments this past week. My emotions are so up and down, and all around. I would like to think that these feelings are normal, and "this to shall pass".

These are my struggles this past week:

My biggest worry is that Macie will never speak. I KNOW that I should not compare her to other children her age, but if you are reading this, and you are a parent.....you do it too. I see kids her age talking up a storm, talking in sentences and it makes me sad. She is doing very well with therapy, but she just won't talk. She will say words, but she is repeating words that we say, or looking at a flash card and saying "apple". We still celebrate these words, and developments, but I always wonder if she will ever speak in sentences, or spontaneously say words without prompting.

My other worry is that I am not doing anything right. I feel like I have limited time to work with Macie. Emma is at an age where she is very demanding. She's not fully sitting on her own yet, and she wants to be held ALL THE TIME. I feel like I am neglecting one or the other constantly, and that is wearing on me. It's not a good feeling to feel like a bad Mommy, and it's really not doing them any good either. Perfect example: I was sitting in the kitchen with Macie, she was finishing up her lunch and I was getting out some flash cards so I could work with her. The minute I pulled out the flash cards, Emma started screaming in the other room. So....no time spent with Macie, have to get Emma.

I just have these sad moments/days sometimes, and just need to be reassured that it's normal.
Yes, I am still taking my meds (in case you were wondering)- they are like crack now. If I forget to take one it's just a matter of hours before I know it.

I am dreading winter. We have been spending so much time outside this summer, it's going to be a shock to all of us. We will be spending A LOT of time at Airtastic I think.

Pity party over, thanks for coming.

Random post- cute pics and video

Nakey saucering

Macie enjoying her playhouse

Fisher Price threw up in our yard

"Daddy, can I please borrow the car tonight?"

Little Miss Independant

Happy 45th Anniversary Grandma and Papa!!!

We love you!!!

Emma's 6 month check up

Weight- 16lbs. 12oz. 66th percentile
Height- 26 1/4 inches 64th percentile
Head- 17 1/4 inches don't know percentile

She had two vaccines and took them like a champ. She cried for a second, I gave her the binky, and she was done.
We now have to take her to a pediatric Opthamologist. She has a "growth", or extra flap of skin in the corner of her left eye. It actually covers most of the white of her eye in that corner. Makes me nervous, but hopefully it's something they can treat with eye drops, and not surgery. It has gotten larger over the last few weeks. I already made the appointment for August 23rd.
Overall, she is very healthy and growing well!

In the blink of an eye, I've been robbed!

I've been robbed of having either of my children resemble me. It appeared as though Emma was going to have my eyes. Mine kind of change with my mood, or what color I am wearing but they are for the most part hazel (brown/green in the middle, yellowish circle around that and a blue/green ring around the outside). I swear they still looked like that yesterday, but when I got her up this morning, and she flashed me that beautiful smile, I looked into her eyes and they are all brown now. Just like her daddy, and just like her sister! Don't get me wrong, Phil and Macie have the most beautiful, big brown/amber eyes I have ever seen, but I wanted one of my kids to either have my eyes, or maybe even my red hair. Nope, my poor girls inherited my body. We are built very "sturdy", like brick shit houses (or, shit brick houses as Phil would say- love you babe). You can see the muscles in both of them. They are going to be plagued with broad shoulders, stumpy muscular legs, and they for sure will be members of the GUN SHOW!!!! Sorry girls.....Mommy loves every inch of both of you. I just know the struggles you will have in finding clothes that look normal on you, and fit your calves. XoXo!

I mean seriously, look at her arms!!! But she's also super cute, and I love the arms.....really I do. I just have a sick sense of humor I guess.

Emma- 6 Months

Dear Little Ems-

Today you are a whopping 6 months old! When your Daddy and I woke up this morning we were talking about how we can't believe it's been 6 months already. You are 1/2 way to your first birthday which seems insane!

You have your 6 month check up on Friday, and I am so curious as to how much you have grown. Just about every day lately I am packing away some clothes that don't fit you anymore. So basically your closet is filled with boxes of clothes that either don't fit you anymore, or need to be brought out and put in your closet and/or dresser.

You are, and have been sleeping like a champ in your crib!!! You go to bed at 8:00, and you sleep soundly until 5:30. For some reason you don't nap well in your crib so you nap in your swing most of the time. That's going to have to stop pretty soon since your feet are close to reaching the end of the swing. Your Daddy and I are so fortunate to have two pretty good sleepers. I still recall the many sleepless nights just a few short months ago, but the memories of that seem to fade every time you have a good nights sleep and wake up with a huge smile on your face.

You are so very close to sitting on your own. I thought you were going to do it sooner than this, but you're getting there. Now there has been a few hours since I started writing this, and in that few hours you sat on your own for quite a while before getting tired. You're such a big girl.

You are on the move all the time. If I lay you on your back, you immediately roll to your tummy, and then continue to roll across the whole living room. You are constantly waving your arms, kicking your feet. It's become quite a challenge to change your diaper. You are so curious about all the toys around the house, you look at them in amazement, press buttons, pull on things, roll them around, etc. It's so cute to watch you while you observe the world around you.

You have the most adorable smile, your whole face lights up and it just makes my day. You have a great laugh too. It's not a full out belly laugh, just sort of a chuckle.

I do have to say that one of my least favorite things to do right now is feed you. Not only do you take FOR.EV.ER, but you kick and squirm the whole time. I would have to compare it to trying to bottle feed an Octopus. Every noise distracts you and you wiggle and twist your little body around to see what's going on.....so nosey!!!

I just love watching you grow and learn new things. Crawling is just right around the corner, you are scooting backwards now so you just have to figure out how to go forward. You bounce on command while in your jumparoo, and you crack up every time!

Can't believe you have been here 6 months already. Best 6 months of our lives.

Love you!

Mommy

Sisters.....

The conversation (no words obviously, it's all in the eyes):

Emma: Macie, I will hurt you in your sleep

Macie: Oh yeah? You have no idea what I have up my sleeve....I am older, and wiser.

Emma: But I am more sneaky.

Macie: DAAAAAAAAADY!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!

Thank You Auntie Kim

Kim made Macie a super cute, super soft blanket, pillow and a mini blanket for Macie's baby doll. Emma has taken a liking to the mini blanket, and Macie used the pillow last night to sleep. Emma is a little under the weather today so she is enjoying Macie's blanket! Thanks Auntie Kim!!