Emma- 1 Month

Dear Emma-

I can hardly believe you are a month old already.  It's especially hard to believe since your actual due date was just a week ago.  You decided that you wanted to meet us three weeks early, and I can't thank you enough for that.  You were really taking a toll on my body and we couldn't wait to meet you. 
I have to admit, we were not really even close to being ready for your arrival.  Your room is not done yet, but we keep telling ourselves that you won't be sleeping in there for a bit anyway.  It makes us feel better about not getting it done yet.  I promise we will get around to it very soon. 
I was scared for many reasons when we found out we were expecting you.  I had a difficult pregnancy with your big sister and was afraid it was too soon and I would have more problems.  I was scared that Macie was only going to be 17 months old when you were born and how could I possibly handle such a task- a newborn and a toddler?  My biggest fear was that I would not have the capacity to love you since I thought I had used it all up on your sister.  Boy was I wrong.  The moment you were born was such an amazing realization that my heart can grow big enough to love you more than I thought possible.  When they handed you to me, I had such a sense of peace and contentment and all my fears subsided.  I was in love at first sight.  We chose your middle name, Diane, to honor your Grandma who was there when you entered the world. 
Your journey into the world was a very fast but difficult one.  For that reason, you had to be watched pretty closely for a few days, but everything turned out great.  You adapted pretty well after a few days. 
I have to admit that this past month has been a challenging one.  I have been pretty emotional and I am trying very hard to adapt to this new life with you and your sister.  Macie doesn't quite understand you, where you came from, and why things have changed.  I get a little nervous when I feel like I am not giving equal time to the two of you.  Maybe that's why you stay up from 2:30 to 6:30 am pretty much everyday- you want Mommy all to yourself.  Well mission accomplished, we have had an awful lot of bonding time this past month.  I think you might have colic.  At least that's what it seems to be, but I am obviously going to let the Dr. figure that out.  I am very sleep deprived and try so hard to soothe you, but nothing seems to work.  You've gotta work with me so we can both get some sleep.  This too shall pass, right???  It's quite flattering that you want me to hold you and cuddle you all the time, but don't you get sick of me?  I know, I need to step back and enjoy this time because I know it flies by and pretty soon I will lose you to Daddy!  Just be careful, Macie is not gonna like it!
You have grown so much this past month.  You are really doing a great job of holding your head up.  You love being talked to and of course held.  We're not quite sure who you look like, but you're still so little.  You have black hair like your Daddy, and I have noticed that you are getting those long, dark eyelashes like your sister.  You have some crazy long fingers and toes, but they are slowly starting to chunk up- so cute.  You have a birthmark on the back of your head, exactly like your sister did.  You also have a "knot" on the outer edge of your left ear, just like Grandma Scimeca.  I could go on and on about all the adorable little details of you, but I will spare you and everyone that reads this. 
I can't wait to watch you grow and what the next couple weeks, months and years have in store for us.  I know you and your big sister will adore eachother. 

All my love,

Mommy