Macie

I haven't done an update on Macie lately and I am feeling a bit guilty about that.  I am in a weird place right now.  My emotions are all over the place.  I am so proud of how far she has come in the past year.  I am proud to be her Mommy.  I love her with every ounce of my being, and I would not change her for the world.

With that being said.....I will say that I am not yet to the "acceptance" stage.  I accept the fact that Macie is autistic, and I know that I can not change that, but you better believe that I am angry as hell.  There is so much "stuff" surfacing on the news about autism, research on autism, what role vaccinations have in autism and all this "stuff" is pissing me off beyond belief.  I was going with the belief that autism is genetic, and that I am not to blame for Macie having autism.  Now I am not so sure what I believe.  I won't go in to great detail, but researchers are uncovering many cases where families were compensated for vaccination "injury".  Many cases involved children that showed "autism tendencies" after being vaccinated.  We chose to do delayed vaccines for Macie from the beginning.  It wasn't because we believed that they caused autism, but we felt the amount of vaccines they give to children at one time is extreme.  We didn't feel it was necessary to inject so many in her little body all at one time.  When she was 15 months old, we did get her the MMR vaccine, but that was the only one we did at that time.   In November of 2009 the big H1N1 "scare" came about.  I was 8 months pregnant with Emma at the time, and I did a lot of research, and a lot of talking with my Dr.  I was torn with the whole situation.  I worked in a restaurant, I was exposed to a lot of germs.  Macie was 14 months old and I was scared she might get it and get very ill, pass it on to me.  H1N1 was killing pregnant women.  My Dr. had a woman who was clinging to life as was her unborn child.  It scared me, and I couldn't decide if it was worse for me to take the chance and not be vaccinated.  Either way I felt guilty.  Long story short, Phil, Macie and myself were vaccinated in November 2009.  Macie had the MMR, and the H1N1 (first round- we never got the 2nd dose) within one month of each other.  In January of 2010 (could have been sooner) Macie stopped saying new words, and was losing the words that she already had.

So.....with all the new research, and findings that are surfacing in the news makes me a little leary.

As I write this post many families in the US are receiving the devastating news that their child has autism.  One in 110 children (1 in 70 for boys) will receive a diagnosis of autism.  There is no known cause, there is no cure.  There is not enough being done to find the cause(s) and/or cure, and it is more common than any cancer, juvenile diabetes, and pediatric AIDS combined. 

All of these facts really piss me off.

It is my job to protect my kids, and I couldn't protect her from this.  I feel responsible, and I will feel that way until someone proves me otherwise.  Of course I had no idea what the future would hold and how, and if the vaccines would affect her, but that decision to "roll the dice" was in my hands.   I have, and will make many decisions in my life that take a turn and don't work out in my favor, but this decision was potentially life altering for my kids.  So.....here's a big F YOU to autism, vaccinations, lack of research, lack of knowledge, and lack of information I felt I had at the time.  F YOU!  K, I feel a little better. 

Just some pictures

Blogging rut

I am currently experiencing a horrible blogging rut.
My thoughts, feelings, and life in general are all over the place.  I can't even form two sentences that make sense to anyone but myself.
I have an appointment with the local Proctologist to have my head removed from my ass.  Maybe I will resume blogging after that.
The girls are good, they are just busy.  Neither one of them sits for longer than 2 minutes.
I do have to mention that Emma took her own diaper off yesterday and peed on the floor.  I have a super cute picture of her little buns running around after this incident, but (no pun intended-ha) I will not post it on here, or anywhere for that matter because there are sick people out there!  Sad, but true.
Here are some rare moments where they aren't trying to kill each other.

Bittersweet

We have been working on getting Emma off of bottles.  It went much smoother than I had anticipated.  The last couple of weeks we finally (don't judge) stopped giving her bottles during the day.  She was only getting one when she woke up, and one at night before she went to bed.  I was putting her soy milk in a sippy once in a while, and she would take a sip, and not be interested in drinking the rest.  I gave her a sippy of milk when she got up this morning, and she finished it with no complaints about not getting a bottle.  So I think we are officially done with bottles in this house.  It makes me a little sad....no more babies in this house.  It also makes me happy to not have to clean bottles anymore. 
My baby is growing up!
Emma's latest and greatest.....when she falls down accidentally, or on purpose she says "ooooouch".  So cute. 

Emma- 15 Months

Dear Emma ("Littles")-
You turned 15 months old yesterday, on Mother's Day.  Not sure if I mentioned this before, but once your first birthday passes, I do a "letter" to you every three months up until your 2nd birthday.  After the 2nd birthday, it becomes random when I do them.  Just wanted you to know this so you don't think you are being left out.  I did the same for your sister.
Since I mentioned Macie....we'll start there.  I know that she isn't always very nice to you.  I hope someday that you two will be very close.  I also hope that you are not taking her actions personally.  Mommy and Daddy will explain all that to you very soon.  You love your sister so much, and I know she loves you too.  You just keep doing what you're doing- persistence, patience, and love and I know you two will get along.  You two do share sometimes.  I know you like bringing toys to Macie, you love helping out when we are getting her dressed, or changing diapers.  You will bring her clothes, shoes, socks over.  Whatever we ask you to get, you retrieve it and bring it to us.  You are such a great helper.  You try to help me with the laundry and it's cute and very frustrating sometimes.  I can't sit on the living room floor anymore because you are just too helpful.  You unfold, and try to refold everything.  You help me put toys away, rearrange the fridge, sweep the floor, and you love to vacuum.  Pretty soon I might just have a live in maid!
You are walking full-time now, and you have been for about 2 months.  You have the strangest cutest little walk.  Someone pointed out the other day that you walk like Charlie Chaplin.  You're almost running, and you are trying very hard to climb on things.  You are talking up a storm, and repeat most everything that is said to you.  Most of it is in your own language, but we pretty much know what you're saying.  I love how you say "all done"......aaaahhhhh duh.  You latest and most Mommy and Daddy heart swelling phrase is "I love you"....so very sweet.  You give kisses a lot, wave bye bye, say "hi" when someone walks in the room, you say "dog" a lot.  You have the most adorable little voice.  You are so silly and giggling all the time.  You do things to get us to laugh like making silly faces, pretending to cough, etc.
You are the pickiest eater I think I have ever encountered.  You WILL NOT eat veggies except for homemade mashed sweet potatoes, and tater tots which I don't really consider veggies.  You will not even go near anything green.  You love fruit, chicken, hamburger, applesauce, graham crackers, saltines, etc.  Your favorite thing is any kind of pasta, or anything sweet.  You got your Daddy's sweet tooth I am afraid.
You are just so busy.  You explore toys all day, you love drawing, puzzles, your ball popper gets you giggling.  You really couldn't care less about cartoons.  You'll glance at one once in a while, but you are more interested in toys, and playing with Mommy and Daddy.
The weather seems to finally be getting warmer, and you've spent some time outside and love it.  You love going for walks in the double stroller with your sister.
You are growing up so fast, and I am trying to soak up ever ounce of this time.  You bring so much joy to our lives.
Love you so much Littles,

Mommy

Emma and Daddy chillin' on Easter

The Cool Cats

This is one of those pictures that she will hate me for in about 15ish years

I told Emma to say "cheese"

Grandma Rose

Today we are celebrating the life of Phil's Grandmother, and she will be put to rest tomorrow.  

I had the privilege of knowing Grandma Rose for seven years.  She is an amazing woman, and will be missed by many.  Grandma and Grandpa would have celebrated their 64th year of marriage next month.  I loved hearing the story of how they met, and I have never seen two people more in love than they were.  My condolences go out to the entire family as they go through this difficult time.  

 

Rose Scimeca Rose Scimeca (nee Martorano), 84, was the beloved wife of Philip; devoted mother of Joe (Kathy) and Anthony (Karen) Scimeca and Annette Fecarotta; loving grandmother of Philip, Joey, Kimberly, Nicole, Katie, Anthony, Bobby, Gina and Dominic; loving great-grandmother of David, Dean, Joey, Macie, Emma, Olivia, Sophia, Giovanni, Joey and Gabriella; dear sister of Kay Martino and Mary Tomczyk; fond aunt of many nieces and nephews; and cherished friend of many. Service will be on Tuesday, April 26, beginning at 9:30 a.m. at Cumberland Chapels, 8300 W. Lawrence Ave., Norridge, proceeding to St. Rosalie Church, Harwood Heights, for a 10:30 a.m. Mass. Interment will be in St. Joseph Cemetery. Visitation will be on Monday, from 3 to 9 p.m. at the funeral home. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Alzheimer's Association at www.alz.org or mailed to 225 N. Michigan Ave., Floor 17, Chicago, IL 60601. For information, 708-456-8300 or www.cumberlandchapels.com.

Published in Chicago Suburban Daily Herald on April 24, 2011

This is so sweet

I took this picture a few weeks ago when Emma was napping at Grandma and Papa's house. When I went in to check on her she was using my old "Pickens" as a pillow. My Great Grandma made them. I just thought it was so sweet!

Oh......The Face

I went in to peek on her to see if she finally fell asleep.
Who needs a bed, when you can use the dresser drawer you broke. Resourceful little girl.

Randomness (is that a word?)

Emma is getting better. At least her rash is better. She is still running a low grade fever, and she's still pooping out her ears, but she seems better.

I'm thinking about getting both the girls a haircut (gasp....). Macie just has so much hair, and with summer coming it would be easier all around if it were shorter. Emma just needs some really odd and random long ones cut that hang in her face. She looks like Donald Trump with her comb over. We'll see!

I can not for the life of me make decent sweet potato fries. They taste ok, but just don't get crisp like I would like. I want to bake them....no deep frying. Any suggestions? I need things like that to trick Emma into eating vegetables because she won't touch them.

Weight Watchers.......ummm....I kinda fell off the wagon for a bit with all the recent things going on around here. I have lost a total of 5.9lbs though, and I am ok with that considering I haven't been good about tracking everything. I am back to tracking everything so hopefully I will have some better updates on that soon. I'm thinking about taking on another "adventure" soon, but don't want to talk about it until I really decide to do it or not. Are you curious? It's nothing crazy, trust me!!!! Mom- I promised you I would not jump out of any more airplanes and I meant it (two times was enough).

Macie is still a ham with the camera. I hope it keeps up because I am getting some super cute pictures lately.

Think that's all for now. Going to take the girls for another walk. We have to enjoy this weather before it snows again!

Designated Driver

I told Emma she should not be driving in her condition so her big sis took over.
I know......bad Mommy for having Emma outside, but the beautiful weather has to do her some good. She seems to be doing better. I might be eating those words I just typed......stay tuned.

The non-splotchy one

She's just too cute for words, and such a ham lately. The minute I bust out the camera she does a cheesy smile and poses for the camera.

Back to the drawing board

Emma enjoying her oatmeal bath. Poor thing. Really seemed to soothe her!



We had to take Emma back to the Dr. today. Her rash got worse and her feet and hands were turning blue/purple. Her fever came back, and the poops are still hanging around!
Now they're not sure what it is, but are suspecting a rash caused by a virus.
They told us to give her children's Zyrtec, and that didn't do squat. She had a banana, and some saltines for dinner and it came right back out the south end in the worst way we've seen yet.
While at the Dr.'s office we discovered that Emma lost almost a pound since yesterday. Not good for a one year old! They were going to admit her to the hospital, but she was producing tears and her mouth was wet so dehydration hasn't set in yet. I am shocked that it hasn't. We are supposed to give her a few ounces of pedialyte at a time and cross our fingers that she keeps it in her body.
We have an appt. tomorrow morning to weigh her again. If she lost any more weight, or hasn't gained any back, she's probably going to be admitted to get fluids and run some tests. Keep your fingers crossed!

Fifth Disease

This is supposedly what our little Emma has. Makes sense to me because the number 5 correlates with the number of explosive poops she has in an hour, it's the number of holes that her poop is coming out, and almost reaching a temperature of 105.
Our journey with this started on Sunday. It was going to be a beautiful day, and we were going to go to the zoo. When I went to get Emma up I knew the minute I saw her that she had a fever. I picked her up and she was burning hot! 104 was her temp. CRAP. I called the Dr., and they got her in that morning. Diagnosed with just a virus. She was checked for strep, checked for ear infections, etc. I brought her home and we just hung out all day. Daddy and Macie did some work in the yard. The explosive poops started, her temp. was still pretty high, and now she wouldn't eat or drink. Around 5:00 she was pretty bad so I called the on call Dr., and she told us to take her to the ER. Took her there, they did nothing for her. She slept pretty good, and finally started fussing around 7:30 the next morning. I went in to get her and she was covered in red splotches. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that I showed the ER doc a few little red dots by her armpits, and one on her back. He said "keep an eye on them".
I got her out of her crib and stripped her down. They were everywhere- her face, her arms, legs, back. Her temp was down, but I was still concerned. I called the Dr. again and they got her in for another appointment. When she saw her she said she needs to go back to the ER. They have one right next door to the office. So......took her next door to the ER. Long story short- they did nothing. They gave her benadryl to see if it was an allergic reaction to something, and gave her some tylenol. They observed her for about 3 hours, and sent us on our way with the "Fifth Disease" diagnosis. After reading up on it a bit, it makes sense.
It's very frustrating since it is a virus. We just have to give her Tylenol and Motrin for the pain and fever, and let this beast run it's course. She's barely eating, or drinking. When she does either it just goes right through her in a matter of minutes. The foulness that is coming from our adorable one year old is indescribable. We have been scrubbing and sanitizing our house constantly. This may be a job for Hazmat!
Poor thing!

Be still my heart

Love the tongue hanging out!

I took Macie outside yesterday while Emma was napping. She was at the top of her slide, and just happy as can be. I turned to her and said "I love you Face", and she planted a HUGE kiss right on my lips! It was so very sweet!!!
Despite being a little under the weather yesterday, it was a good day for her. She was very vocal, connected, and very loving. Wish I knew what triggers her to have these "good days". There are much more of them than there were 8-10 months ago, but I would like them every single day please!
Would you believe that we already have an appointment with the Preschool Macie will be going to? We have a transition appointment on April 28th. We will meet with her teacher, the assistants, and the principal. I'm excited, but a smidge sad that my baby is growing up so fast and going to be going to school in 5 months!!!!! I think it will be a great thing for her!
We are also looking for a daycare to take Emma to two or three times a week (I may have already mentioned this). She needs some time with other kids.