Therapy via blogging

Something awful happened last week that has changed my life (and Phil's) probably forever.  I'm told that I will need to talk about it often, and that I will probably need some counseling at some point.  I have decided to "talk" about it here first.  The reason for that is the fact that I feel this is something that is very difficult to discuss with those that have not experienced something of this nature.  It's hard to imagine telling people details, and not making those people uncomfortable.  Maybe if I write it here someone that has been through this may have some helpful words for me/us.

I will make the story short for now.  There is so much to tell, but the end result is the tragic part, and that's what I want to "get out".

Last Monday I had an overwhelming feeling that something was wrong with our neighbor.  I hadn't seen his car leave for two days, and his dog was going in and out the back door on her own (the door was propped open).  There were also some lights on in his house that I rarely ever saw on.

I contacted our other neighbors' to ask if they had seen/talked to him- they had not.  I sent a text to them saying "something is very wrong".  That neighbor has a key to his house so asked if Phil would come over and go in with him.  They rang the bell a few times, and no answer.  Our neighbor walked in first, Phil was next and then me and my neighbors girlfriend were behind them.  We got in the house and found that our neighbor had taken his own life.

He was a husband, father, son, uncle, friend to many.  I am sad, angry, and not sure I will ever get this out of my head.  If you know anyone that suffers from depression, is having a "tough time" in their life DO NOT be afraid to ask them if they are ok, or if they need help.  I don't know if anyone could have prevented this situation, but I certainly would have tried harder had I had any indication that this would happen.