Emma is 16 months old now. This is the exact age Macie was when I started noticing that something was wrong. Macie had delays, she was losing words, she had quirks, and red flags were flying all over the place. I was also about ready to birth my second child, and I wrote a lot of it off to stress, hormones, frustrations, etc.
I'm not gonna lie, I am worried about Emma. There is nothing specific with her that makes me paranoid, it's just past experience, and her age. I lose sleep because I am afraid that I might wake up and everything that Emma knows and does will be gone. I hold my breath when I go in to get her in the morning. I am afraid she will have that blank stare that Macie used to get when I would go get her. There is nothing worse than going in to get your baby, and it seems they don't know you, or are looking right through you. I know that worrying won't stop anything from happening, but I can't help it.
I've tossed around the idea of having her evaluated by Early Intervention. I want to do it just to put my mind at ease, and just in case she does have delays we can get her the help she needs early.
I talked to Macie's speech therapist today about Emma. She's seen her enough, and she also is an "expert" on autism. She has her PhD, and I trust her opinion. She asked me questions about Emma, and told me that she did not see any reason for me to be worried, or have her evaluated at this time. I felt a little better.
It's really quite sad. Most parents want to stop their kids from growing up too fast. I want to fast forward about a year with Emma. I want to be past this worrying stage, and know that she's ok.
I want to breathe again!
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