Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Pity.....Party of one, your table is now available.

I've been having some "off" moments this past week. My emotions are so up and down, and all around. I would like to think that these feelings are normal, and "this to shall pass".

These are my struggles this past week:

My biggest worry is that Macie will never speak. I KNOW that I should not compare her to other children her age, but if you are reading this, and you are a parent.....you do it too. I see kids her age talking up a storm, talking in sentences and it makes me sad. She is doing very well with therapy, but she just won't talk. She will say words, but she is repeating words that we say, or looking at a flash card and saying "apple". We still celebrate these words, and developments, but I always wonder if she will ever speak in sentences, or spontaneously say words without prompting.

My other worry is that I am not doing anything right. I feel like I have limited time to work with Macie. Emma is at an age where she is very demanding. She's not fully sitting on her own yet, and she wants to be held ALL THE TIME. I feel like I am neglecting one or the other constantly, and that is wearing on me. It's not a good feeling to feel like a bad Mommy, and it's really not doing them any good either. Perfect example: I was sitting in the kitchen with Macie, she was finishing up her lunch and I was getting out some flash cards so I could work with her. The minute I pulled out the flash cards, Emma started screaming in the other room. So....no time spent with Macie, have to get Emma.

I just have these sad moments/days sometimes, and just need to be reassured that it's normal.
Yes, I am still taking my meds (in case you were wondering)- they are like crack now. If I forget to take one it's just a matter of hours before I know it.

I am dreading winter. We have been spending so much time outside this summer, it's going to be a shock to all of us. We will be spending A LOT of time at Airtastic I think.

Pity party over, thanks for coming.

2 comments:

Katie K said...

I'm giving you a HUGE, virtual (((HUG))) right now. You are doing such an awesome job, women are good like that! Get a break if you can, Grandma and Grandpa will help.
XOXOX
Kate

Diane said...

You're so right on all counts, Katie! Getting her to take the help is another story.